Morris Cuomo: We just got invited to one and it's our first ever of hearing of a potluck wedding. We were taken aback but it's really about the marriage. The only gripe we hear from others (including us) is that the location is in an exclusive mansion in one of the most expensive places in the city yet they are asking people to bring food AND drinks.
Corey Rohleder: we were gonna have a "friday" wedding, but we changed it b/c i live in florida and right now it always seems to rain in the evenings and it was going to be outside, so i think its ok if everyone is local and your gonna serve dinner and it will be a fun time!!good luck and congrats!!
Jorge Gerrero: you have a point about the out-of town thing, but if the wedding is at like 5, most people don't get off work 'til around 4, and they would have to get back home, get ready, and get to the wedding all in one hour.of course, they could always take a 1/2 day, if their job permits.
Maye Delk: First o! f all, a wedding (on any day) is a blessing and an event to be celebrated! And never a waste of a weekend. That's why the invitations are sent so far in advance. So if the person sees that i will be a waste, they can RSVP a 0!Do not change your wedding date! Friday weddings, as well as Sunday weddings, are becoming extremely popular. This gives the bridal couple the entire weekend to spend with family, friends and to take part in pre-wedding events. Also, a lot of venues give a discount if you do book your wedding with them during the week, on a Friday or a Sunday!Have fun and best wishes!!...Show more
Sunshine Holets: These days it's not so much as asking permission, but more out of respect, for that 'stamp of approval'. I think it's lovely when the man wants to do this.My husband went to talk to my mom (my dad had passed away), unbeknownst to me - I found out much later. They had a good talk.This is not for you to arrange, but for your bf.
Reyes Brunell: Actua! lly my fiance asked my dad first. I think its very sweet & thi! nk everyone should do it, sometimes I think the world would be a better place if some things were like they were years ago. =]My fiance just sat down with my dad & just came right out & asked him. He explained that he had a good job & that he will always do whatever it takes to make me happy. Basically he just assured my dad that he will always take care of me & love me, which is what all dads want for their daughters....Show more
Rickey Vrieze: Think about other weddings or events in your family or circle of friends. Are potlucks common? Is there usually good food? If so, then a potluck will be great. But if your family or friends don't usually do potlucks, or if there usually isn't a good distribution of tasty food, then you might want to consider another option.
Foster Koopmann: As long as you ask people to bring food in lieu of a gift, then it's not tacky at all.
Dexter Dingus: My fiance and I were talking about having a pot-luck wedding. We have no re! al need of anything, since we were decently established in our own apartments to begin with, so we were debating asking for food in lieu of a gift. A lot of our families were hit hard in the recession, so we figured it was reasonable and they wouldn't feel as pressured. We'd also set up a registry for those who didn't want to or just flat out couldn't make food. Is it tacky?
Elfreda Grossen: I think it can be kind of awkward. If they don't live nearby he could just call him and ask. If he does live nearby maybe he could ask him after a family dinner or something when other family members are not around.Personally, I don't like the idea of permission- I'd prefer to ask for a blessing or support or something similar....Show more
Alma Twomey: awwwww i think thats sweet!! maybe they can arrange a guys' day together. just mention it, briefly and in passing, to your boyfriend. kind of drop the hint, like, "i didnt know my dad was so old fashioned- we were watching a! movie and the main character asked his girlfriend's father for permiss! ion to marry her. my dad just loves that idea!"
Eldridge Rieves: Sean & I did it together, because I wanted my parents to know that this was what I wanted too, not just him going for something without me being behind him. It took him a year after this to propose, and when he did he showed them the ring before hand and told them when he was going to do it, etc. It was awkward asking them (when i was there) and my dad almost cried, but im really glad we did it that way. i hid behind a pillow and giggled like a little girl.
Barrett Alosa: I have no problems with a Friday wedding....one of my good friends was married on a friday evening, at 6pm. IT was wonderful, we got to have a good time on a friday night, and yes, still had the weekend to recover/have fun etc. I did not hear any complaints from anyone at the wedding about the friday....Plus for you, it cuts down on expenses.I will say that some people couldn't make it to the wedding, just the reception, and the ! bride & groom totally understood!...Show more
Gladys Worthing: I got married a few years ago at 6pm on a Friday, simply because if you marry on a Sat, it's usually early in the afternoon. People have to wait so long for the reception to start that they usually go home and alot of the time, don't feel like going back out. Out of the 200 people I invited, 176 showed up so I'm glad I chose the Friday.
Loriann Carrigan: There is so much wrong with this wedding I'm not even sure where to begin. 1. Fourth weddings should be scaled back. My mom was married four times and the last wedding was a court house ceremony with a couple friends, and myself. They took us out for lunch at nice restaurant after. 2. Since this is her 4th marriage she should scale back the bridesmaids dresses, or pick up the tab if she wants them in $200 dresses. Who can even afford that, especially for someones 4th marriage. 3. She should not register for gifts after the first wedding. As many ti! mes as she has been married she should have enough stuff between her an! d the new guy to set up a couple households. 4.Most country clubs will only allow the person to use their food only. Potluck weddings are tacky in general, especially in a fancy country club. 5.You do not put out a jar asking guests to fund their vacation. That is beyond tacky. You are that people will be turned off and won't show. i wouldn't.
Elvie Drumgoole: I'm also having a Friday wedding. It seems the consensus I got was, if they want to be there, they will.I'm curious. Since your wedding will be before mine, would you mind emailing me your numbers of people who were invited, people who rsvped no, and people who showed up? I'd have sent you an e-mail on this, but it was blocked... THANK YOU!...Show more
Zora Mazzie: Sorry, but the grammar policewoman in my head said, "A lot of our family members were hit hard in the recession."
Barton Morfee: Hate them. Hate hate hate. I don't consider a Saturday wedding a waste of my time; I gladly attend weddin! gs and consider them days well-spent. I enjoy all the trappings and the fact that I usually don't have to rush to the wedding or whatnot.If it's an out of town wedding I would *absolutely* prefer it on a weekend day so that I don't have to take time off work. I will, for a good friend or relative, but having a wedding on a Saturday means I don't have to. Even a Friday evening wedding in town means taking off from work early because the rush hour in my city starts about 2 p.m. on Fridays.I understand that sometimes it can't be helped, especially in the wedding high-season (summer) when Saturday dates get snapped up over a year in advance, but I really do appreciate it when a couple can plan enough ahead to get a weekend day....Show more
Florencio Dingle: I think it sounds like a good idea!!! My husband comes from a very large Italian Family and several of his nieces and nephews did this, especially because it was mostly family and very close friends. We all had ! a lot of fun, and really enjoyed each others specialty dishes. There w! as so much food, everyone was able to take home some of their favorites.
Russell Mckinzie: I'm sorry about all off the stress! Take a deep breath! Ok, now first of all are you sure this is how you want to get married? A quick thing, and then back to your station with out him? If the answer is yes, then this are the steps you need to take:1) Find someone to marry you in the state you want to get married in. They will be a great resource in how to get this all done. 2) Find two witnesses3) Contact the court house if that is the way you want to do it, and see what they can tell you. A few things to think about: 1) Your future in-laws might be a little bit offended if you marry in his home state, but don't invite them. It might be a better idea to get married in a neutral place where no one will have their feelings hurt. 2) To have a formal wedding after you elope might be a little unorthodox and seem like you only want gifts from people. A good alternative to this might ! be to have a reception for friends and family. A sort of open house for everyone to wish you well, and take photos. If nothing else there is one place where you don't need a license in advance. Want to get married in Nevada? And finally, you can wear whatever you want in a court house wedding! Most woman go for a sweet little white dress, and a suit for the male. If you are both in the military then you could consider using your military dress as well. Do get some flowers! It adds to the romance! I would say get your hair done too! One more thing! get someone to take photos! (they can double as a witness if need be) These are the moments you will want to remember for the rest of your life so having photos are important. Plus they make really sweet announcements to send to both of your families. My sister ran off and got married, and the one thing everyone said after they got over the wedding shock was "I wish someone took photos of it, I would have liked to see them."...Sho! w more
Gus Leiby: how ironic?my wedding too will be on a friday n! ight. its a personal choice but i'm happy about it! our main reason, to be honest, is that the place we're having both the ceremony & reception at offers us a deal of 15 % our entire package!! i'm aware that most people will have to take time off work a little early but for the most part my immediate family, friends, and friends of the family are the only ones to be present for our ceremony, which will be around 5/6 then we're having a cocktail and h'ordourve hour then the rest of the guests are invited to the reception...honestly the best thing about weddings is getting together with family and friends for a beautiful event...if getting off work is such a major ordeal than i'm sorry but thats kind of petty. its like getting out of school early to get ready for a major dance or prom-i did that in high school with my girlfriends and it made that night all that more fun and exciting...as for the guests, it isn't about them. its about you and your soon to be husband. anyway, ! i wouldn't change your date, your wedding will be remembered for all the wonderful moments anyway, not the fact that it was on a friday night.best wishes and lots of luck to you both!...Show more
Donny Bankson: Probably not as rude as some of the others, but it really upset the bride and I would be very offended if someone does this at my wedding. The ceremony was close family only, so most of the guests were just invited to the reception. The wedding was organised at very short notice, so not exactly what the couple wanted, but they did a brilliant job. Anyway, a guy that we work with turned up part way through the reception in a t-shirt and ripped jeans. He looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. He helped himself to some food and a couple of free drinks and then left. The bride was really upset and offended by it, which is why it bothers me so much....Show more
Malcom Bourek: You're right, XOXO, it is offensive for people to tell you that a saturday wedding ! would "ruin" their weekend. I don't think anyone has said that to me in! those words, but mainly that they are happy that they will be able to still do something else on the weekend instead of having it all absorbed by a wedding. There aren't very many weekends in a summer, so have quite a few of them zapped up by weddings is kind of a bummer when you just want a saturday to take your boat out. I understand it both ways. But I don't think the people I'm thinking of that told me this actually think my wedding would "ruin" their weekend. :)...Show more
Hyo Hardell: It's funny you ask this question because I just asked her parents a week ago today. It sounds like your bf is already on good terms with your father so it shouldn't be to bad. But with that said, it is not an easy thing to do. Just tell him to be himself and honest. Even though it's an old fashion tradition it's a good one. It really shows that your bf has a lot of respect for both you and your parents.
Ileen Oshell: A lot of people have their own opinions about what i! s tacky and what is acceptable. i feel like it all depends on the family.My family would love this idea and we would all have a good time and i can see the night going wonderfully. for other families, not so much.if your family is fun and laid back like mines i say go for it!...Show more
Dick Maisenbacher: Honestly, it sounds kinda tacky to me at first, but I think it's all about the presentation of the idea. If you ask for food in lieu of a gift and make it sound like a fun idea and stress the fact that you want to make it easier on your guests (NOT easier on yourselves by not having to pay for food) then it could be very fun and interesting
Joni Ziak: Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoi! d divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/VtHvK
Vernita Robberson: My fiance asked for my dad's permission and he did it very creatively. He made a "resume" for my dad that listed his qualifications for being a good husband and things like that. My dad, being the joker that he is, turned it into a contract and had him sign and initial it. After the proposal I found out about all of this and couldnt stop laughing. It was sweet, funny, and the perfect way to put a modern twist on an old tradition.
Coleman Coscia: If it works for you and all the people that you must have at your wedding, it is just fine. You will get those that don't or can't attend because of the date, so if you are ok with that, then run with it.But, to respond to a previous poster, work is not a lame excuse for not attending a Friday wedding. It isn't easy for everyone to take time off work to travel to a weekday weddi! ng. Fridays are my busiest work day because I am closing out my week. I can't just leave work, even if I know in advance.But, then again, I have a real job. You might not. Just a thought....Show more
Percy Seiger: Getting married on a Friday saves you money which you and your husband-to-be can put towards your life together. Good for you!If anyone considers spending a day celebrating your happiness to be a waste of time, they shouldn't come to the event at all. The people who truly love and support you won't mind ONE BIT taking a half-day off work to be there....Show more
Manie Labat: I am currently stationed in Korea and my fiancee in Missouri. We would like to have a small intimate wedding with just us and MAYBE 2 more people if needed. My family will not be able to attend so i dont want to invite his whole family and have it be unfair to my family that they didnt not get to share this experience. Then we would have a big wedding for both families next ! year when i am stationed stateside so everyone can partake in it. It is! a first time for both of us. I am getting leave in August for about two weeks to go stateside and i would love to get married on a beach in Alabama (his home state). Does anyone know and cheap places (dont really have that much saved up and its kind of a spur of the moment kinda thing), yet nice and not like trashy that we can get married at? Also, i have NO IDEA how to plan a small intimate wedding, let alone even a decent size wedding. I dont know where to begin! Can anyone help? I have about 5 months to do this.......Show more
Shane Getler: I was talking to my dad about marriage and he said that he can't wait til my boyfriend asks him for my hand in marriage. That time is approaching...very soon. I had no idea my dad was so old-fashioned and would want this! However, I definitely want my boyfriend to stay on good terms with my dad so I ran it by him. However, in such a modern age, it sounds so funny to imagine him "requesting" my hand (also considering, he'd ! marry me even if my dad didn't approve) ;) But out of respect, I want my boyfriend to do this. Has anyone ever done this or your guy done it? How did they go about it exactly without being awkward? Any advice?...Show more
Vita Moodie: I have no problem with a Friday wedding. I think the "I have to work" exuse is completely lame. If you are really close to someone who is inviting you to their wedding, then a couple hours of time off isn't a huge sacrafice. And with plenty of advance warning (I think 2 months is plenty of warning) I don't know anybody who couldn't get the time off work.
Carlton Lastrapes: i would happily attend your potluck reception. need to assign dishes, or have someone keep track of who is bringing what. now, people might get mad if you are wearing a 4000 dollar dress and having a potluck reception, so mind yourself. keep it all very informal.
An Cardine: I dont mind Friday weddings, I am getting married next Friday. Ours is a day wedd! ing though so people dont have to hustle to get home, get changed and d! rive in traffic to come. Only about 30 people arent attending (out of the 135 expected), either due to financial reasons (out of towners) or they couldnt get off work (I swear half of them didnt request it off till 2 weeks to go, ugh)I think Friday weddings are nice, and people can always take off work if they need to (who's going to complain about NOT having to go to work and getting to go to a wedding instead?)I wouldnt stress too much about it. Fridays are becoming the new saturdays since in most cases it's cheaper (it sure was for us, even a day wedding vs. a night one was cheaper). Plus then you dont have to feed people as much cause it's in the middle of the day and try, people have the whole weekend to do whatever they want.I would stick to your plan...Show more
Ronny Dorge: For people who work it's difficult for them to attend...then there's the fri-night rush hour traffic....I rather spend either Sat or Sun at a wedding...it's usually something I really look ! foreward to, I don't consider them weekend killers...lol good luck.
Monica Voltin: You sound very well intentioned, and in some parts of the world, this sort of thing appears to be acceptable or even the norm. The problem is that, when you ask for a dish in lieu of a present, you're expressing the expectation that those who come to your wedding might prefer to bring food rather than buy a gift. In other words, you're stating that you "expect" them to contribute in some way, and this is where the etiquette gets dodgy, because a gift should never be mentioned unless it's in response to a question.If you do decide to do this, it might be better if you did it informally (word of mouth) and only to family members. In that case, it isn't even a potluck - it's more like a family catered event. These can be fun, but my only caution is that someone - not necessarily you! - needs to be appointed in charge of the whole thing. You don't want 7 varieties of baked beans, nor ! would you want to discover at the last minute you have no ice, or sodas! , or napkins. The bigger your event, the more critical it is that someone serve as "point person" to make sure the food brought will be enough, and will be the right kind of variety. And then you'd contribute any glaring deficincies, like if no one brings a tossed salad, etc.
Frank Gazaway: I think potluck weddings are tacky. It's your responsibility to feed your guests, not theirs. The possible exception to this is a tiny, very informal wedding, at which point you wouldn't even have a registry or written invitations.Also, what about food safety? Do you know that every guest who brings food will adequately wash their hands first, not cross-contaminate their cutting boards, have proper holding temperatures for individual ingredients and main dish? Do you want to take the chance of guests getting sick at or shortly after the most important day of your life?
Travis Colomb: It's up to the gf I think. I had told my then bf that if he ever wanted to propose that! the only person who he should ask is me. Regardless of what my family or he thinks. I have nothing against people who like this tradition, but I haven't asked my dad for permission to do anything since I was 11 when my parents divorced. If anything, he should have asked my mom if I had wanted him to ask anyone. The way I look at it is it is our moment, not my dad's, and it is my decision if I want to marry him, not my dad's. I don't need permission to be with the man I love....Show more
Lindsey Zanardi: Ok, I know nothing about Alabama so I can't help you there. But the rest I can do. First, you need to set the date and time with your fiance and talk about what you want. Also, you need to tell your parents what your plans are and ask how they would feel if they didn't get to come but his parents did. You never know, they may be understanding. It would help to explain about the larger wedding later.Next, decide if you want a clergy member to marry you. That means a p! astor or priest or rabbi depending on your religious preference. If you! don't want a religious ceremony you can have a justice of the peace perform the ceremony or have a friend ordained online and they can perform the ceremony.Flowers would be next. Do you want them or not? And if so, what kind? You can easily make your own bouquet for little. Go to the local supermarket and pick up an already made bunch of flowers and then tie them with ribbon.Do you want rings? And if so, do they have to match? If not, go ahead and buy his ring and he can go and buy yours. Finally, after all the prep is done invite those people that you have decided to be there. And enjoy the day....Show more
Verdie Wollen: I am protestant and he is christian, but neither go to church that much or anything so it would probably be by the JOP. im not too sure what i would even wear to a court wedding. or what he should wear. the whole ring thing i can do, flowers i can do. I hear alot of things about getting a marriage license or certificate before the wedding happens.! How would i do that being that i am in Korea and i cant go to the states until August and i would only be there for two weeks. A few people told me that i have to apply about a month in advance, BUT we both need to be there. I dont even know where to look this info up at? ugh im gonna go crazy and havent really even started planning it yet . This stuff is stressful!...Show more
Libby Berkovitch: First of all, For people to say having your wedding on a saturday is "ruining" their weekend is very very rude. I mean, it's a celebration of love, and if someone you're inviting thinks if they have to spend more than two days with you is a ruin...don't bother inviting them. Second of all, if you think that having it on friday is a better idea, what about the people who have to travel now? They have to take two days off of work instead of none. Sooo, yeah not the best of ideas if you want to have a big wedding with alot of people from out of town....Show more
Nedra ! Oltz: i personally do not like friday weddings. i recently went to one ! on a friday that was at 5pm which is just ridiculous because most people work til 5pm so we all had to cut out of work early. i've been to one in the past that was at 7pm so that was better but i was exhausted from being up at 5am for work.
Tyrone Disanti: Its typically not a guy asking for permission, instead its just a request of their blessing. So for a guy to say "Mr. ____ I want to ask your daughter to marry me, however its important that I know I have your blessing, will you support us in this decision?"My husband asked my dad, and it meant so much to my father--now I know my husband thought it was incredibly awkward, so I guess some things you just can't avoid. hehe....Show more
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